Let's Just Poop in Our Panties

The Strong-Willed Child.

I could write a book filled with examples, but need to find a book that has all the answers. Dobson's book seemed to give insight on Emma's personality, but I need someone to tell me what's gonna "fix" this headstrong not-gonna-obey attitude of hers. Everyone tells me how great it is when a strong willed child grows up, but that dealing with them when they're young is not enjoyable at times (to put it in the nicest way possible). I suppose she doesn't need "fixing," per se, but she does need to learn how to function as a moral child in this world, with appropriate reactions to things she faces daily.

Emma is giving us a run for our money these days. Adam and I have turned out to be pretty strict parents, I guess, and expect our kids to do the things we've taught them to do. I'm amazed at what children are able to learn at such a young age. Caleb has already learned not to walk into the kitchen and he obeys 90% of the time. Amazing, right?

It's not just about keeping the rules. But understanding "why" we even have rules in the first place. "Mommy and Daddy's rules keep you safe" is something that we have ingrained in Emma's brain. Along with that is "We want to honor Mommy and Daddy and that honors God." "God wants us to love other people and share with them." and the list goes on and on. But lately the (dare I say it) Terrible Threes are beginning to rear their ugly head, weeks early. The more Emma refuses to obey, the more we've had to crack down on giving her trouble, or timeout, or whatever consequence seems appropriate at the time.

How has she chosen to repay us for all the discipline, you ask? Read the title of this post. She has been completely potty trained for months, and now this? Sigh. I have tried EVERYTHING in this world I know to do...positive reinforcement, fruit snacks, rewards, and negative consequences-making her clean out her big girl panties herself (which she thought was so fun to get to do...grrr), spankings, withholding treats, etc. You name it, I've tried it. I've even tried doing "nothing," and just cleaning up the mess and not saying anything. She is not your average almost-3 year old. My most recent experiment has been to load up on the "fun times" and give her tons of praise and attention (in hopes that she was pooping to get attention). We went for a walk yesterday, just her and I. We have had special project times, "learning" time, book time, you name it. I've been trying to not give trouble as much and have forced myself to let some things go. Not ignoring, but just talking to her about things rather than spanking as often.

While she's definitely enjoying the praise, she is still not going in the potty. This morning during one of our talks, she told me that she simply "likes pushing poop out in her big girl panties." So, today, after cleaning poop out of 2 pairs of big girl panties before 10 am, I'd had it. I did what some other moms had suggested: stuck her in the tub, cleaned her off, and then gave her a cold shower. Unlike cleaning out her panties the day before, she did not think this was fun. Not one bit. She was kicking and screaming the whole time, but hopefully we are getting somewhere.

Soon after the first shower, she pooped in the potty (giving the tub/shower the stink-eye the whole time and mouthing to herself how that shower was "not good for me." Then, later today, she pooped in her panties again which resulted in another shower. She's beginning to talk about how she does not want another shower and we've talked about what she needs to do to not get one.

I've got my fingers crossed.

I'm writing this blog post so that I will remember these moments and never forget them. So that one day when, Lord willing, she grows up to be a wonderful, strong-willed "Proverbs 31" lady I'll be able to reflect back on moments like these and be able to say about the hard times "It was completely worth it. I couldn't be more proud."

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
-Proverbs 31:10-31